Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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