sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
