I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
