Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
