Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
