windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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