We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Is it because I queefed?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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