i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
4 words: hood of his car
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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