Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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