He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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