Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
birth control should be required to get into college
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
