i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize