it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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