It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
