Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
