Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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