dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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