nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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