he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
His hands were made for my vagina.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
