you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
