haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
