it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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