we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
