Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
