she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
There r osticjed everywhere
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
