ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
