Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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