North Korea, Best Korea!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
