i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
