Christians are straight up FREAKS
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
