DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
