I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
