Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
