Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
