If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
