I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
