you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
