i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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