hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
