Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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