I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
