i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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