I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
