you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
