Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
