i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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