I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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