oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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