I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
