you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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