she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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